He's Not James
by SwissBillyGoat
Summary: AU. Nothing has ever been easy for Remus Lupin, and the fact that he fancies his old student is not going to help matters.


**Disclaimer: **Please, if I owned Harry Potter, so many things would be changed, but since I don't, things will just continue as they are.

**Author's Note:** Okay, so this is my first time writing this pairing. I tried going for something a little deeper, but that's probably not saying much. So, just read and review, but please, no flames.

**He's Not James**

"You ready, Harry?" Ron Weasley questioned as he stood at one end of the training room, poised to caste his first hex.

Their professor that afternoon after their sixth year, Remus Lupin, chuckled and shot Harry a quick wink. "Yes, Ron, you can see as well as I can that Harry is fully prepared. Besides, these lessons are about gaining experience and I happen to know that a Deatheater is not going to pause and ask if you're ready."

Just as Remus quit talking, Harry called out a quick "Stupefy!" causing Ron to fly back from his original stance.

Once Ron had recovered enough to right himself, he looked to his smirking friends and stated, "That was a dirty trick and you know it."

"As Moody would then say—"

Harry never finished this sentence as Ron called out a quick charm that caused him to float above their heads. "Constant vigilance? Really shouldn't allow yourself to get distracted so easily, Harry."

Once again, the aging wizard laughed at the antics of his charges. "Very good, Ron. Now if you'll please release Harry, we'll continue with our duel."

The redhead let his best friend remain in the air just a moment longer before releasing him from the spell. Unfortunately, when Harry no longer felt the support of the spell, he began to flail his arms about by instinct, and promptly fell on top of his godfather's old friend. The Boy Who Lived continued to lie in this position, trying to readjust himself to the ground once again. Remus commented, "No offence, Harry, but you're no longer five years old here."

Instead of standing up, however, Harry simply realigned himself along Remus's body so that now they were face to face. He grinned, "Are you implying that I'm fat, Messer Moony?"

"I'm not implying that you're fat, Harry, that would be ridiculous. I am stating, however, that you are heavy," Remus replied.

The boy simply narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "Just for that, I'm tempted to remain here for the rest of the day."

"And miss Molly's lovely chicken dinner? For some strange reason, I don't believe that resolve would last long."

"I am hurt by your apparent lack of faith in me, Remus."

Before Remus could utter a reply to this, Ron asked, "Are you two going to get up before sometime next week or not?"

Harry rolled his eyes but stood up nonetheless, and then helped his professor, who stated, "We're finished for today, boys. Feel free to have a game of chess before dinner. You need help with your strategy, Harry."

The Boy Wonder smiled and shook his head, but left with a wave and a promise to crush Ron at his own game.

As soon as the two young wizards had left, Remus Lupin collapsed upon the ground once more, this time sitting and cradling his head in his hands. _What the hell is going on here? It's been like this since the end of their sixth year. It's got to end, all the flirting and touching, it's got to end. I can't build up his hope—or mine for that matter._

After a few more minutes of wallowing in his realization that he'd never have the one he wanted, Remus righted himself and made his way to the living room, where indeed Ron and Harry were involved in a game of chess while Hermione was reading, and various other order members scattered about. Remus settled himself into one of the old armchairs, trying to decide how to go about his without ruining the boy's confidence, but still getting the job done. Nymphadora Tonks had been chasing Remus for a near year and he had not managed to push her off yet.

The werewolf was jarred from his thoughts as he felt a slight presence beside him. "What's up, Moony?"

It was true that Sirius Black could be quite helpful when it came to romantic interests, but somehow Remus doubted that Sirius would take well to him saying, "Well, I just happen to want to jump into bed with your godson. But I don't think it would go too well—what with that whole 'no real aggressive biting or else you'll become some horrible bloodthirsty monster' thing."

Remus would probably be lucky if he only got knocked into a coma after admitting that he fancied a boy nearly half his age. And to make matters worse, everyone thought he would eventually end up with Nymphadora once he got out of his self-righteous ways. And it wasn't that Nymphadora was a horrible person, it was just that she just a little too…womanly.

He swallowed and replied, "Nothing, Padfoot. Just let my mind wander is all."

Sirius winked, as if he knew everything that was running through the other man's mind. Remus silently prayed that Sirius didn't know Legilimency. The Azkaban escapee simply replied, "Really? Thinking about a little lady with pink hair?"

"No, actually, I was thinking of something else, Sirius. You see, just because your mind doesn't wander off the topic of sex doesn't mean that the mind of all middle-aged men is so one track," Remus sighed with relief.

"Right, like that's true. Anyway, Remus-when are you gong to ask my dear cous—"

Luckily for the blonde, Harry chose just that moment to interrupt, "Hey, Moony. I've lost already and Ron's ego has begun to inflate. Care to come over and show him how a true master does it?"

Thankful at once for the opportunity to leave such an awkward conservation, even if it meant a closer proximity to the person behind his other dilemma, Remus stood and made his excuses to Sirius. Then taking Harry's old place at the chess board and glancing at the boy in question, Remus realised that he had heard every second of what the two older men were saying. And he did not look thrilled.

True to his part of best friend, Ron asked, "Hey, mate, you all right?"

"Course, Ron. Couldn't be better," the boy savior replied, trying, though unsuccessful, to drop his thundering look for something more cheery.

For the next three hours, through dinner and the chess game, Remus hardly said a word. And needless to say, it was because of this that Harry was shocked when Remus called him to the library at nine-fifteen. "Anything I can help you with, Remus?"

"Actually, I was hoping to talk with you about something, Harry. Do you find me attractive?"

The boy's face flushed a slight pink, though he was able to reply, "Well, you are certainly fit, Moony."

"Harry, I don't need to tell you that there can't be anything between us, do I?"

"You could tell me, but I think we both know that I wouldn't listen any more than Tonks. Less even, since I know one thing she doesn't," Harry then grinned.

Knowing already that he was going to regret asking this question, Remus inquired, "And what is that, Mr. Potter?"

"Well, quite simply, that you're gay, and that you fancy me, of course."

"Harry, there are even more reasons for me not to date you than there are for Nymphadora. I mean, not only am I a werewolf, your ex-professor, twenty years older your senior, and much too poor—I also changed your nappies when you were a baby. Your father was one of my best friends, and your godfather still is. Not to mention that I'm a man, Harry. The press would have a field day with something like this."

"You know, your argument really would work, if I gave a rat's arse about any of those things. Remus, I'm dangerous too, and I happen to think that in this case, all the problems are easily outweighed by the benefits. Now, I've made my decision, just as I believe Tonks has done the same, you can choose to accept it, but you can't change it. I've been waiting a long time for this conversation. So really, you only have one choice—to live a lie or to just stop caring what they think."

Remus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You're being far too reasonable for me, Harry."

"Well, I like to think that I've moved past the old image of doubt and anger. Besides, Ron has enough of a tempter for the both of us. Was there anything else you wanted to talk with me about, Remus?"

"Just one more thing—no matter what happens, Harry Potter, I'm proud of you."

Harry smiled and stood, leaving without another word.

* * *

The next week was quite interesting for the werewolf Remus Lupin. Tonks seemed even more persistent in her attempts at getting with him, while Harry never mentioned what had occurred again. That, however, was the good news. The horrible news was that Remus was becoming more and more attracted to his old student, so much so that now the wolf was beginning to get involved. And his plans really didn't coincide with Remus's.

Despite his earlier words, it was Remus that first petted Harry, that first held the boy, and that initiated the first kiss in the hallway. So really, when he asked Harry what he would like for his birthday, Remus shouldn't have expected anything less than what he received—"A kiss, along with one day without training to just do whatever I want." And since this request came form Harry, there was no doubt that it would be granted.

* * *

On the day of Harry's birthday, everyone was up early—including the Boy Who Lived. Breakfast was a large meal, as was lunch, and the day was full of talking, games, and, considering a visit from the twins, pranks. Dinner was the largest affair, with a table full of Weasleys and Order members. Then, finally, it was time for the best part of any birthday—presents.

Harry was placed in the old armchair by Mrs. Weasley, that just a few days ago had been the site of Remus's pondering, and was handed a lumpy parcel immediately. Opening it revealed a thick coat, which was sure to be wonderful in the winter. "Thank you, Mrs. Weasley. This is great."

"No problem, Harry dear. After all, you don't know where you're going to end up in the future and that jacket of yours is absolutely horrible."

Ron's gift was next and proved to be a bit more frivolous, though he claimed that it was an excellent way to improve reflexes—it was after all, a very quick snitch. Hermione's was the standard book, though to add a little bit of a twist, it was certainly on a fascinating subject–dark creatures of the magical world. The only way it would have been better was if it had failed to mention werewolves.

When it was Sirius's turn, he took a necklace from his pocket and placed it around his godson's neck, stating, "I know it's a bit girly, a heart locket and all, but it was your mother's. One of the few things I could find that was from before she began actually liking your father."

The now seventeen year-old, smiled and stated, "It's absolutely wonderful, Sirius. Thank you."

When everyone had gone, Remus began shuffling about, saying, "Harry, my present…it happens to be a little more…personal. Can you please come to the library with me? If you'll all please excuse us, we'll be back shortly."

Looking as innocent as an angel, Harry left his place to follow the older man down the hall. Surprisingly, no one attempted to listen in on the conversation, though they would have heard very little, even the twins respected their old professor too much to slide in an improved Extendable Ear.

Harry was the first to enter the musty room, Remus having held the door open for him, and stood awkwardly in the middle of the large space. "So, how are you today, Remus? You didn't seem to be eating much at dinner."

"I happened to be thinking of a problem that is appearing everywhere."

"Really? And what is that?"

Remus took a step toward Harry so that they were now a mere few inches away. "How is it that you manage to get yourself so involved in a person's life, Harry? I mean, whether it's as a pest or as a savior, you're always there. Until the one day that you're not, and suddenly nothing seems right anymore."

"I hope everyone thinks that way, maybe then I'll have a greater chance of survival," the boy grinned.

"Harry, please don't joke about that."

"But Remus, if I don't joke about it, how am I supposed to deal with it? Anger? That will only make things worse, and times are bad enough as they are. Might as well enjoy myself while I still can," he replied before closing the space between them.

And that was how Sirius found the two wizards a few minutes later when he barged in to tell them of a large chocolate cake waiting in the kitchen. "Hey, Remus—what the fuck is going on here?" Sirius shouted, which called an instant swarm of people to enter the room of Grimalud Place.

"What's wrong, Sirius?" Mr. Weasley immediately questioned upon entering, his eyes frantically searching for any thing that might harm his children.

"Sirius, calm down!" Remus ordered as he now stood a good two feet in front of the younger wizard.

"Calm down! Calm down! I should kill you!"

"Honestly, Sirius, what is the problem? It doesn't seem like Remus is doing anything dangerous," Hermione intervened.

"Well, there's absolutely nothing wrong besides the fact that I just walked in on 'my old friend' with his tongue down my godson's throat!"

There was a moment of complete silence before Mrs. Weasley exploded, "What?!"

"You make is sound as if he was raping me, Black, when you know perfectly well that nothing of the sort was going on. So just shut your mouth before you make thing any worse," Harry demanded. Then a moment later, he added, "I was the one that started this whole thing anyway."

"Yes, but you're only a kid, you don't know any better. _He_, however, should know better than to go around thinking with his cock."

Harry absolutely fumed, "Don't you dare patronize me like that, Black. I'm not any more of a kid than Kingsley or Bill. I'd include you in that group if I thought that it wouldn't be boosting you immensely."

Before Sirius could shoot anything back, Tonks quietly asked, "Is what they're saying true, Remus? Are you and Harry together?"

"I'm sorry, Nymphadora, I should have told you sooner—"

"No, you never should have started this in the first place, you bloody bastard," Sirius retorted, his eyes once again capturing an insane light.

"Sirius, shut the fuck up!"

"Why? I'm just telling the truth here, something you obviously have trouble with. And why did you start this anyway? So you wouldn't be lonely anymore at night? Or so you can get the public—"

Suddenly, Harry broke in again, "That's it, Black. I know you're my godfather and all, but one more word out of that mouth of yours and I swear I'll Crucio you on the spot. I won't allow you to insult Remus like that, I fancy him and he me. That's all there is to it."

"You must know that he doesn't care about you, Harry," Sirius spat. "Only looking for a shag and some pity."

Finally, Remus lashed out, punching Sirius in the eye. "Don't you dare say I don't care about him, Black. You're the one that's too oblivious to notice how it kills him every time you call him James. He's not James, Sirius."

Sirius adjusted himself, desperately trying to resist the urge to pull his wand. Nymphadora's hand on his shoulder, as if she was controlling him, wasn't helping anything. "James was a great wizard, Harry should feel honored."

"Well, I'm not, Black. Whether you want to admit it or not, my father had his faults, ones that I am doing my best not to repeat. I am my own goddamn person, not just some clone. I have my own name, and everyone seems to know it but you," Harry seethed.

Sirius just stared at his godson for a moment, and it was because of this that Mr. Weasley had the opportunity to place himself in the center of the group, thus preventing any more throws. Placidly, he said, "All right, everyone. Now let's just calm down and discuss this like adults. Everyone out into the living room, no use in trying to make this a private matter now. Whole block probably heard the yelling."

Everyone shuffled out, some of the others whispering gossip about the situation. Sirius left, though not before one last glare at the pair. Alone once again in the library, Remus questioned, "Are you sure you still want to go through with this, Harry?"

"Yes, Remus, I'm sure, but if the chance arrives again, I want to be the one that punchs Sirius," the boy replied, offering a weak smile as he made to follow the crowd, Remus at his heels.


End file.
